I relate to this a lot!
Things that help me relax:
– regular exercise, both cardio and strength. this extends even to lifestyle things like walking or biking more on my commute. if you start exercising more, make sure you eat enough to keep up with the increased calorie burn so you’re not undernourished.
– music, playing or listening
– meditation or yoga. even once a week helps long-term
– having a set wakeup time every morning. this has helped me sooo much. set a time and wake up that time every day for at least two weeks to get into a groove. keep that wakeup time consistent and calculate your bedtime 7-10 hours before that.
– on that note, getting enough sleep is important. lack of sleep makes me tense, amped up, tired, emotionally chaotic, all at once. it feels like my body responds to sleep deprivation with pure adrenaline (or maybe cortisol?). the above tips will also help with sleep too. if you don’t sleep well, working on “sleep hygiene” in general may help (just Google “sleep hygiene” for tips)
– one other suggestion, try out some leisure activities that don’t involve screen time and see if that helps. there’s nothing wrong with TV or video games to relax, but blue light from screens is stimulating (same reason people recommend against screen time before bed). if you’re feeling stimulated when you’re trying to relax, the screens could be part of it. some ideas for non-screen leisure activities: walking, reading a book or comics, writing, drawing, singing or playing an instrument, listening to music