I also relate to this. In my case, I know that this is linked to childhood emotional neglect, never having anyone else to trust and having to cope all on my own growing up. Before I got diagnosed with Adhd at the age of 48, I thought that I had Aspbergers 😝 because of my «extreme emotional reaction» to changes.
I work today as a psychiatric health worker and we continually get different types of forms to fill out with our clients, nutritional asessmentsheet, fire controlsheets, evaluationsheet and so on. It drives me nuts to remember all the forms and I have constant high stresslevel because of this and other changes at work.
So, I try to work with my self-care and shame of not feeling like I cope well with any changes…the nicer I am with my self, the more I relax. But I have also realised that this will be a part of me for the rest of my life, just like Adhd is.
Thanks for the tip on Sheryl Paul, that looks interresting.