Reply To: Is it ADHD or…..?


My 7 year old daughter is the exact opposite of the majority here. She is the picture of compliance at school yet the moment she gets into the car after school, she lets it all out! She’s said, “I have to be good all day long and by the time you pick me up, I can’t take it anymore!” She also says that she “has to be good to her friends or she will have no friends.” She is polite to her teachers and works very hard all day. Then she takes it out on her entire family at home. (We adopted her from birth & recently found out that her birth mom has adhd. We have a good, open relationship with the birth mom, who is a very sweet young lady. My daughter is sweet too, probably THE most loving, sweet child I know. She’s very empathetic and quick to give hugs & kisses.) However, this terrible irritability has escalated over the past two years progressively and in this last year has become violent. She takes everything out on her younger sister (our only biological child after losing 7 babies). She hits, punches, pinches, calls names, pushes, shoves, slaps and most recently has resorted to kicking….in the head. She used to kick her sister in the legs or stomach. Now it’s the ribs and head. My husband is a physician and refused to believe it was anything other than normal child behavior (sibling rivalry). It’s not sibling rivalry when one child is bullying and terrorizing the other. We had her “unofficially” diagnosed by a therapist because he doesn’t want her labeled. She and I see the therapist regularly and the therapist suggested evaluating for adhd. She hit every marker. My husband’s jaw hit the floor! I don’t know about some of you, but the moment she tested positive for everything on that checklist, I felt relieved! Relieved to finally have vindication and relief to have a name to put with what is happening to my family. Yes, this has affected my entire household, my marriage, my relationships with my children, their relationship with each other and how we function on a daily basis. We don’t function; we feel like we’re barely hanging in there. I feel like my entire family is drowning & I can see land, but cannot get us all to shore. I’m trying everything: essential oils in diffusers at night, essential oil necklaces, therapy for adoption and adhd. I’m on Wellbutrin. I’m drinking calming tea. I have her taking Smarty Pants gummy vitamins with omega-3s & magnesium. I’m trying to cut out all red dyes. She’s never had soda and drinks mostly water. My husband & I meet with an adhd specialist this Wednesday for an interview. Then we can map out a route of support. Also, there’s a different adhd specialist coming to her school to diagnose a group of kids whose parents want them evaluated. She’s got 8 hours of testing ahead of her in one week. There are days I feel like I have bi-polar disorder because her moods are all over the place. There are days I just cry. But mostly, I’m sad or angry. I’m scared for my youngest daughter. She was very calm, sweet, shy & laid back, like her dad. Now, she’s aggressive and has tantrums because she learned it by watching her sister. She’s no longer my sweet girl. She used to share everything and was a calm child. If she got upset, she’d go to her room and lie in her bed to calm herself down. Now, she kicks walls, doors, furniture. She upturned a 100lb table with a vase on top just the other day. Flipped it like it was a piece of paper. She’s 5. Scared us all. Her sisters behavior has turned our loving home into a house of horrors.

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by sosdesign.