This is a FWIW contribution. Not direct advice. Just about an adult’s long trajectory.
My ex Sig other — per descriptions his own mother gave me of times when she had no idea what was happening – exhibited signs of ODD when he was young ( there were some descriptions dental and dr appointments where the Drs told her never to darken their door again). All this was long before anyone knew of ODD or ADHD etc.
The negative thing from this that he always retained was a mulish refusal to change ideas, and inability to hear feedback or intuit others’ feelings. He sometimes needs to be removed from a situation – or hear it from a neutral source (PBS) to see the other side. He also was likely hyperactive, but that was channeled into sports and constant activity (altho’ smallish, he was good at most sports) As an adult, his “hyperactivity” was channeled into much better than average mechanical abilities and work that required making things ( he did get a Mechanical Engineering degree, altho’ had to return to school as an adult to settle down to do the academic work) He had the ability to keep at anything he was interested in doing – and nothing else ( Could there be some ASD in this. Yup)
SO blah, blah: the point: he has made many friends over the years. He’h had good jobs – not those requiring a lot of people skills – but has done the best in starting /running his own businesses ( a horrible delegator, but that’s another topic). I have had him drive me nuts with obsessiveness about some issues. But he made a very full life, using all of his traits – – Not perfect but full.