Put some thought into what relaxes you, like observing yourself in all situations. You may find relaxation in unexpected places and certainly not in what is typically expected to be relaxing. I am never relaxed on vacation and I can not even relax enough to enjoy a massage. I find myself most relaxed when moving, especially walking in the woods where I can observe nature around me. I also find relaxation in creation, I started woodworking. Once again I am moving and I only make small things so I have a chance of finishing them. It may take some time, it took years for me, but try to be aware of when you do feel relaxed and take note of what you are doing to make that happen. It’s a lifelong experiment and may change over time.