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I have a similar problem and posted under “marriage struggling” a couple of days ago…probably in the wrong section. My husband also is undiagnosed but I’m certain he has ADHD and probably one of our sons
Interestingly it is this particular son doing the things hubby does that can enrage him. Haha seems he doesn’t like living with himself
I find it frustrating the advice everywhere is not to “parent your spouse with ADHD” but on the other hand overlook the complete disorganisation, mess and unfinished projects, rather remind constantly, white boards, set up alarms on phones, meanwhile being house organiser extraordinaire, bill payer, birthday rememberer…in other words nagging and mothering which is what we do already. Does your husband get irritable or have rages?
I just think it would be better if a diagnosis was made so we could address symptoms together rather than risk causing offence. Also would give us both validation
I know there is not easy answers but nice to know I’m not alone. I am so ready to help and go to counselling to find out where I’m going wrong and my contribution but he won’t..in the heat of the moment he’ll say it’s me with the problem
Thanks for listening
Please post if you have any breakthroughs