Reply To: It's not ADHD, you're just an A**hole,

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#138997
scottishADHDer
Participant

Hey.

First of all, none of this is your fault and you certainly aren’t alone. When you said she does this every few weeks, is it maybe that time of the month? Women can get extremely weird during that time since so many hormones are all out of balance. If I’m wrong, did you ever consider that she may be having a mental health issue of her own?

The best thing to do is to have a serious conversation about where your marriage is going. It’s not a healthy environment for anyone to live in if you’re arguing all the time. This isn’t to say “it’s over”, but rather a reflection of the problems you’re both experiencing. You said you’re doing much better, and that’s really good news. However, even though your brain is beginning to balance, your wife is still stuck in that state she was before you got better. She needs help to alleviate this anger. Go out and do something nice, like dinner, a movie, or a massage for you both to unwind and just relax for one day. Then when you’re both relaxed, you can sit down and have a conversation and work it out.

There will always be ups and downs, and you’re going through a rough patch. Relationships are never perfect, and anyone who tells you they are, are simply lying. One of the things I noticed when I had undiagnosed ADHD, was the oblivious nature of reality to me. I would maybe do things and not even realize the impact it would have on others due to my impulsive nature. I wouldn’t listen, so the chances of me resolving problems were difficult. You aren’t alone in this, and I can assure you, things will get better. You need time to adjust to your meds and this new way of thinking and behaving. Your wife needs time to adjust too. Give it some time, and things will start picking up, I promise.

Kind Regards