Even if you can bear the verbal abuse from your ADHD husband, I promise you, your little ones can’t. I know from personal experience. My father was an untreated, undiagnosed bipolar and his rages were terrifying. I now have ADHD, OCD, BIPOLAR, and I suffer from what is called Complex PTSD. The way one gets Complex PTSD is by growing up in a “war zone” from a very early age. Parents screaming and out of control is terrifying to little kids. The longer they are exposed to this, the more damage is done. If the abuse and fear continue for years, the brain actually short circuits and it is not wired like a normal brain. With regular PTSD,a person knows there is a baseline normal to return to. With Complex PTSD, there IS no normal baseline to return to because they only know chaos. Complex PTSD means you can be triggered by a smell, a sound, seeing someone who looks like your abuser (and yes, a man raging, screaming, and out of control is abusive to a child).
With regular PTSD, there is a hope for recovery, with Complex PTSD there is not.