Reply To: Rescue or Responsibility

#138239
scrispin99
Participant

Hi, I hope you’ve found support and help for your question. My reply has to do with being step parent … my husband of 6 yrs is inattentive Adhd, my 20 yr old stepson who lives at home still (attending college) is autistic with clinical anxiety, and my 15 yr old step daughter is inattentive adhd. It wasn’t until reading more about Adhd that I realized I have some qualities of the hyperactivity/hyperfocused version. I jump on tasks I don’t procrastinate. I expect problems to get resolved ASAP, quickly, like now without delay. And I can over focus on trivial things to the point they drive me bonkers — like my husbands forgetfulness or our daughter making a sandwich in the kitchen and always distractedly leaving a mess.i now see my family members are just living their lives, the way their brains naturally function and I see that I too am doing the same – but I am their opposite in my thought/behavior patterns. I believe that (and have read research in this) that an inattentive + hyperfocused are a usual marital combination – opposites attract. This has led me to see that the family dilemma to be solved is that we ALL, myself included need support and need to better understand and work with each other. My goal is in learning to shift my focus OFF what they are doing or not doing. I shift it back to me and what I need/want to be doing at the moment. Everyone is working on themselves, including me. It used to be that I just wanted them to change or “function better.” I’m much more peaceful now that I have released some of my controlling tendency. Best of luck to you.

  • This reply was modified 1 year ago by scrispin99.
  • This reply was modified 1 year ago by scrispin99.