I totally understand where you are coming from.
I was diagnosed at 49 in July 2012. My first dose of Ritalin was life changing. I was blown away by how calm I was and for the first time in my life got tired around 10pm and went right to sleep, ahmazing!
However after a few months it dawned on me that I was going to have to take meds for the rest of my life and that depressed me.
I did some research and found a treatment called Neurofeedback and that too was life transforming.
Now 7.5 years later, I am still rooted in calmness, haven’t taken Ritalin since 2013 and feel blessed.
Please consider checking this out. The type I did was The Othmer Method of Neurofeedback.
Insurance usually doesn’t cover it so plan on spending $1,000-$2,000, but I found it well worth it.
Last year I was battling severe depression after going through menopause and did a round of 15 sessions. Depression has been gone now for 8 months. This treatment is great!!