Thank you, Penny. I try to be accepting that the future I had hoped for my children my not come to fruition, and instead focus on what their success and happiness entails. Some days that is harder than others because they are both very intelligent kids, who without their diagnoses, could have traditional success in whatever they chose. Because they (especially my youngest, who is eight) get so frustrated with all of the restraints and expectations to be “normal” at school, I am constantly trying to lift them up. My youngest’s self-esteem, self-confidence and self-compassion are frighteningly low. At six years old he told me he would rather be dead than go to school. That was pre-meds. Since starting on meds, in some ways he has gotten worse because now he is much more aware of the negative attitudes about him that exist around him. He now notices the side-conversations about his behaviour and the eye rolls and frustrated attitudes and that they are directed at him/ his behaviour. I try fiercely to advocate for him at the school (to try to give him a fresh start, we changed schools this year because he was having such a hard time at the school he had been going to for the last four years; it has created a whole new set of difficulties for him), to our extended family, to friends, while at the same time trying to help him catch up with social skills and executive functions so he doesn’t feel so noticed. I guess when I look at what I have just written, I haven’t accepted things as much as I need to. I guess I’m still “grieving” the future that I had dreamt for for my kids. I see I have a lot more work to do to become more accepting for them.
I will check out the Life Coach school podcast and yours and will look into the Dale Archer work as well.
Thank you again.