Sending positive thoughts for a happy new year!! 🙂 No one knows your story better then you so I just comment to give an internet hug and any support I can offer based on my experience. A lot of people like me send love and friendship to you I bet!
Imo from personal experience it was easier to use ADHD or any substance use disorder as a reason for some of my ex fiance’s erratic, threatening, and controlling behavior to maintain hope in the relationship. this was better for me, bc I didn’t want this relationship to not work out and he had a lot of hooks in me emotionally.
He did love me, in his own way, but had huge dramatic anger issues. Being with someone, who is potentially unchangeable and fundamentally has perhaps power and control issues, is just in my experience, exceptionally challenging and does have sometimes overlapping issues with narcissism and substance abuse and or ADHD. However some of the time this might be an excuse for people who drink too much to use ADHD medication to go to work. I have real ADHD and do not like that idea of using things people actually need and yelling at people etc and excuses. I just personally saw my ex fiances primary issue was temper eventually. Leaving was so hard but just for me that was the best thing I could do. The mindset of entitlement can sometimes be “my way or the highway”. Yet it is different for everyone, depending on your situation, so difficult bc sometimes it is so hard to tell whether it is the chicken or egg or a mixed bag but there are resources whatever road you choose to explore. if the right medications work for him that could be life changing and could help him a lot perhaps. imo try to discover the source of the problem and trust your heart and know you’re beautiful and will get through this with him and things will only get better if it is right or even not!