Reply To: I am a rock! …or not…

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#137481
suesuessuedio
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How? How does one adjust her mindset? We are eleven years in to this bumpy ride with both of my sons and while I can try to be positive, calm, understanding and helpful towards them, and I can try to work with the teachers and school administrators to make the best out of “situations” for all involved, I am dissolving into nothing inside. The positive person I used to be has been swallowed up by all of the negativity, worry and exhausting fight that has become my life in my quest to help my children find success in this world of round holes when they are constantly being told that they are square pegs. Some of their “quirks” that cause problems at school for them are their best, most endearing qualities. I don’t want to squash who they are. I am trying to help them learn how to work with the qualities they have been blessed with instead of fighting against them. But in the constant battle to help them get along in this sometimes unforgiving world, I have lost myself. I don’t know how to be me, or who “me” is anymore. My children could probably recite that Maya Angelou quote verbatim because I am constantly using it to try to help them learn to be more self-compassionate, yet I cannot seem to offer myself the same understanding and forgiveness. I am in therapy. I am doing a DBT course with my therapist. I am working on things from several different approaches. I don’t feel like anything is helping though. I am feeling hopeless. Please, Penny, what was the magic that helped you change your mindset?