I’m the ADD spouse, diagnosed 17 yrs ago at 35yo. Your story resonated with me. My big question – are you in counseling? I found that my meds didn’t work completely without the support and insight of a good therapist. Once that happened, things started moving in the right direction for my wife and I (and your story sounds an awful lot like ours). You may need to go for yourself – that’s the only way to avoid the perception of making excuses. Then, you’ll be better equipped to handle the mistakes – and there will mistakes, as we cannot make this ADD thing ‘go away’. Once that has begun, then you can bring partners/loved ones into the process. I wish you positive energy and insight in the new year – I check here often so keep us posted on how things go. We’re with you here!