There’s hope for you 🙂 You have put up with all this abuse for so long…and survived. That makes you Superwoman!
Take lots of baby steps and one day at a time.
Research narcissistic behaviour and you will probably be surprised how much of it resonates with your own life.
Then research how abuse can damage your children (whether they see it or not) and compare it to the alternative of loving, peaceful parents who live apart.
Understand that it is not your job to change your partner, It really isn’t. You shouldn’t even try. Leave that to the professionals.
Ask yourself, how much abuse is enough? When you’re hospitalised because of it? When you can no longer look after yourself or your children? How bad does it have to get and how much more suffering needs to happen before enough is enough? Find your boundaries. Boundaries are healthy things to have.
Get mad…really mad, that someone has treated you so badly for so long. How dare they.
Take all that hurt and anger and turn it into something constructive. Leave!
Then work on yourself and your children, find your strength and live the life you deserve.
I also have ADHD and empathic qualities and I also lived for too many years with a Narcissist, which made me ill.
I’m further down the line than you are now, but please believe me when I say that now I wish that I had left him sooner and that my life now has completely transformed for the better. If I can do it so can you. Good luck!