mnemoscat: I both agree and disagree. I think it “usually ” takes two to also destroy a marriage and I don’t think it is toxic to think that both people could be at fault for a marriage going downhill. I have been with my husband for 15 years so I also have an idea what I am talking about too. Saying that your partner is solely the one to blame for destroying a marriage over 11 or 12 years is failing to realize there are two people’s feelings, thoughts, views and experiences involved. It also keeps the ‘blaming’ going in an endless cycle. We are all flawed and make mistakes, and that is ok. But we also need to realize if a relationship is doing more harm than good, and when it needs to be ended. At least, that’s how I see it.