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Thank you kind strangers!!!
I have thought about why felt so down. I asked the people closest to my if they thought I was ‘taking the easy road’ or ‘squandering my potential’ by not pursuing a more prestigious option. I mean this career-path will not lead to parents bragging about their daughter the doctor or something like that.
My fiancee’s reaction was ‘But you do not like working’. And he is right of course. Working, focusing, handling colleagues takes a lot out of me, so why would I force myself to work a job with such long hours?
Also change is hard for my, so a lot of my feeling like a failure is also sadness that I’m going to leave my current job. It’s time, but it’s still hard.
In short: Thank you for your kind comments. I feel better about my decision, and I think I will feel even better once I’m a bit used to my new job come February or so.