Reply To: After High School

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#136950
Dianaleern
Participant

Hello I’m new here. My son, 19 yo, just finished his first semester of college and basically failed every class. He started out ok but after about a month, he stopped attending classes regularly and stopped doing homework. I wish I could say he seems depressed or feels bad but mostly he just plays on his cell phone. He works for us around the house doing some yard work, painting and cleaning the garage but as with most things he has done, it takes forever and he is constantly distracted.
At some point during his freshman year he met his first GF since 5th grade and it was all down hill after that. Although that relationship ended quickly with his feelings hurt his next GF was also his first sexual experience. That coincided with when he stopped doing things for school. It’s not the girls fault but my son, like most ADD kids became fixated on this activity which was novel and exciting and did nothing else.
Luckily that relationship ended but by then he was failing beyond repair. He lives with us for the time being (according to him). He has a new GF who he rarely sees (thank goodness) and besides working for us, he works at a part time job. Most nights he stays up well into the morning hours, falls asleep with his phone in his hand and has trouble waking up in the mornings. We have a set wake up time for him, It’s torture daily but he finally gets up and takes his concerta. We wait for at least an hour to have any conversations with him because he is extremely angry and short. He does have the rest of the day after finishing chores for us to go out and socialize but he does not.
He used to tell us he has so many friends but like many children similar to him they are not close friends. He spends most of his time interacting with online and social media but rarely interacts with people face to face.
We have an appt, next month for him to start counseling at a behavior center, Although he already sees a pediatric behavior doctor she did recommend he start counseling.
We have out fingers crossed and hope this will help, It has been a long road to this point and sometimes I don’t see an end in sight.It’s so frustrating seeing your child hurt even when they are hurting themselves because they can’t seem to help themselves.
So I guess I am saying I understand. I found out after the fact that there are so any resources out there for ADHD kids even in college but if your child does not cooperate there is only so much you can do. And that is the hardest pill to swallow.