It sounds like you’re going to have to get a diagnosis for the school to believe she needs accommodations and support. Her pediatrician is wrong that they only evaluate if grades tank in school. Ask for a referral for an evaluation or find a doctor who will provide one. Lots of girls in particular fall through the cracks because they can keep their grades up.
The way she’s being treated is very damaging.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism