My son with ADHD is 16, lives with his dad an hour away. He was formally diagnosed in kindergarten; we knew when he was in preschool. I’m the main communicator at school, and am the one who notices when something is awry. We talk every morning to make sure he’s up and has things in order. He comes over every other weekend–we work on homework if needed. He’s been seeing a psychologist for years, and the main thing that has helped has been communication with teachers (even without formal 504 or IEP). I meet at school if needed. I know his friends and their families–they check in with me, too! My parents are supportive as well. We discuss finding his “homework hub” dedicated to do homework in, a simple calendar planner, a “to do” and “to hand in” clear folders with pockets on the outside, and a small notebook in the “to do” folder. He takes a break right after school–sets a timer, then gets to homework before the Xbox or TV (it gets him superfocused and hard to get away from).
He still has troubles, and its frustrating that his dad doesn’t get on the ball or communicate. No, he isn’t one of the lazy distracted kids that was diagnosed early because he didn’t want to do his schoolwork–he really does have this. I have a neurodiverse brain as well. Not something that’s fun to deal with, and not something a person would want to pretend to have if they really knew what it was like.
Good for you to be proactive and wanting to be involved! It takes patience and persistence and love. Lots of love.