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Dr Sarah

While I agree that staying for the sake of the children is not a good idea, the OP has said above that, if she goes, she won’t get to see her children again, as she isn’t American. I’m not sure whether this means that she lives in a country where the father gets custody and all the rights, or whether she lives in the US but will be deported if divorced, but either way it suggests the situation is more complicated than making a happy life away from him; it would mean leaving her children with this man.