Hi – I read your post and it sounded exactly like my son. He graduated from HS last year. We looked into the military but as long as he was on his ADD meds, he didn’t qualify, so we looked at other options. That is the first thing I would find out if that applies to your situation. My son is actually in his first year in college. He dropped two of his courses this first semester because he wasn’t getting good grades. I am not sure with the remaining where he will end up honestly. We looked at several technical school options as well. It was our sons choice to try college. For me – I see his growth as an individual. He admits having all the responsibility on him is hard and overwhelming but he is learning.
If your son has the intelligence for programming, cyber security is a growing field and available in several schools. He will find like minded kids in those schools also – ie: sensitive, insecure, very smart, lacking certain social skills etc.
Just wanted to give you a few things from my perspective as a Mom whose son’s journey is far from defined. Take Care and good luck. Your son has very special gifts!