I have lived the life you are living now. The denial, the explosive rage, etc. He blamed his outbursts on me. He could not apologize or take responsibility for his actions. I was afraid that if I left, he’d get half custody and I’d have to leave the kids with him. That scared me into sacrificing myself – my health, my peace and my life, to keep from leaving our kids with him. Long story short, he began making choices that forced me to leave him. I became very ill with autoimmune symptoms during this emotional transition. That was six years ago. I am now healthier than I have been in a very long time. My life is simple and low stress. I live at the poverty level but finally have PEACE. He continues to hyper-focus on work and dopamine inducing activities and forgets we exist. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, only you can figure that out but, I don’t think you can get physically or emotionally well while living in the same house with your partner. I didn’t want to think that I was being abused but once I got away, I was able to see that I truly lived in fear of his rage, always walking on eggshells. . Oh also, we tried counseling but he would reject their evaluations of him so it did no good. I wish you the best and hope you have supportive people in your life.