Hi, I understand your frustration. I am 54 and I was diagnosed with ADHD about 2 and a half years ago. After the diagnosis and hearing about academic accommodations I decided to try school again.
What I have noticed is that because all of us with ADHD or ADD are different from one another in regards to how our symptoms appear along with accompanying disorders that may or may not be present. This makes it extremely difficult to explain to a teacher or a worker at the university that helps students implement accommodations. They don’t understand all the possible symptoms that may be present from time to time. Yes, time to time! They think its us making things up if the symptom is not present all the time. That is why my parents, teachers, family, friends, coworkers and bosses were/are convinced my symptoms are willingness issues. This is why ADHD/ADD can be easy to misdiagnose or fake a doctor into believing you need Adderall.
The truly disappointing thing is that our meds don’t fix us. At best they manage a few symptoms for a few hours. Most people don’t understand this either. They seem to think if we are taking our meds ALL the symptoms are managed and any issues are once again “willingness issues”.
The best thing we can do is recognise these barriers we all face, continue to learn how to manage our symptoms from each other and when or if we are in right frame of mind try to explain ADHD/ADD to someone who doesn’t get it.
Take care, Frank