Reply To: Empath wife ADHD husband

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#136535
blueocean
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I think you are taking some good steps for yourself. Don’t let your partner define your reality. I went through that fog too. Just because someone is screaming at you that you are crazy does not mean you are. If you can’t leave at least for now, I think you have to do a few things. Realize it could get worse and have a plan for you and the kids. Leave a set of car keys hidden where you can get to them easily and make sure you have cash and a phone. Just in case things explode and you do need to get away. Be realistic that it can happen. Next practice self-care. Take breaks. Get therapy. Make sure the therapy is focused on you and your needs rather than trying to understand or change your partner. Spend time with friends. Accept that your partner will not meet your needs and find others who can. Also, set boundaries. What worked for me is simply leaving every time my partner screamed. It was the best decision for me since I don’t need to listen to his words. In some ways, it made him behave better because it made him realize he needed to calm down to be heard. And practice radical acceptance. Accept he won’t change. Accept you need to make changes to get your needs met outside the relationship and that’s where your power is. Find groups where you can get out and meet other people and friendships will form. Find happiness elsewhere. It takes a mental shift to focus on yourself and your own needs but it’s really necessary especially for someone who is an empath and is so used to being outwardly focused on other people.