I cannot add much to the comments posted above, but want to encourage you. We too struggled with the decision to medicate (4th grade).
We thankfully have an ADHD doctor and went through some behavioral therapy (mostly for us for how to best communicate with our son and to communicate to teachers. Ex: instead of firing off his brain when I say he needed to get homework done before dad got home… I would just point to the paper with no words). A channel we have LOVED on YouTube is How to ADHD.. her videos have been great and have helped him understand himself.
We have gone through many rounds trying to find the right combination of drugs. We also use Cypro to help with appetite (taken at night bc can cause drowsiness but help him wake up hungry). We also did genetic testing to find which medications would not work for him: so that saved us time and eased our minds on what we would try…. we listed everything on the test, even OTC as we were doing this test once.
Now, as a high schooler, some maturity has finally kicked in and he is able to speak for himself how he finds the medication help and he feels more in control. I’ve even asked if he wanted to try high school without it (as school is project based), he decided he wanted to stay on the med.
The Cotempla he takes, we don’t do on weekends and he “catches up” on his eating for sure!
We even met with an endocrinologist to ensure his short stature had nothing to do with his ADHD/appetite… she checked his growth plates, etc and assured us all was normal (just delayed): even gave him the green light to have a milkshake with any drive through meal 🙂 (calories)
With his mental maturity, he is better about eating when he doesn’t feel like it and is able to make his own meals late at night when he feels hungry.
Hope have encourage you: keep trying the med combination, but do give it time. There is a combination out there that help him focus and keep his personality.