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Thank you @quietlylost
Yes, the more I read about ADHD, the more I think my ambitious personality and above-average intelligence simply helped mask most of my symptoms. I’ve just become excellent at “coping”/hiding from a very young age. I’m also not the typical girly day-dream type.
I will have to discuss with my psychiatrist (it sucks I only have appointments every month or so — there is my impatience yet again 😉 ); I’m sure I can get my husband to provide a statement. He LIVES with me, so he experiences my non-existent time management and misplacing and forgetting things on a daily basis.
My therapist is convinced it’s basically all just plain anxiety and depression. A few sessions ago she made a test with me whether I could sit still for 5 minutes doing nothing (she pushed it to 15 total, I think?). Because I’m having a hard time relaxing…or rather, not a hard time, I’m unable. I’ve been so exhausted for years that the moment I’m not doing something, I just fall asleep. So…yeah….I was able to do those 15 minutes…because…well…at age 32 you’ve learned to behave. She also asked me about whether tags in clothes bothered me. And we had an entire session on how I can’t stand boredom and can’t get myself to do boring things. I thought all those were things she was kinda “testing” towards ADHD…. but turns out, not really.
When I came in with a list of major struggles including procrastination, she glanced at it and right away said “anxiety”. When I say “I feel like most people plain misunderstand me” or when I don’t do the dishes or stack my clothes in a big pile instead of putting them away after laundry — it’s depression.
It’s seriously no miracle that adults with ADHD who have not been diagnosed as kids are most commonly misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression.
This entire being-my-own-advocate-thing is really hard for me because I know how much health professionals hate Dr. Google and as a scientist myself I feel like I can’t bias their assessment, they’re the experts on this, not me. If that makes sense.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by miral.