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It’s easy to beat ourselves up because we compare ourselves to some ideal or feel that we fall short in any number of ways. It’s hard to break that cycle and feel valid, worthwhile, and lovable for who we are. I hope that you’re getting support along the way, and also getting feedback from others to counter the negative self talk. Remember that we filter reality through our own doubt and pain. What we feels is not what reality is. You better than your demons would have you believe.