I’m so glad you reached out! I can relate to the feelings of worthlessness and shame associated with ADHD and have also gone through periods of very intense depression. Things turned around for me when I found a good counselor to talk with, and when I started to recognize that the dreamy,’spacey’ and impulsive side of myself that I’ve struggled with my whole life is also the source of my creativity, imaginative skills and sense of humor. I haven’t figured out how to harness these traits into building a career, but I still try to honor them, make time for them every day, and remember that they are gifts that I bring to the world. I’m guessing that if you have ADHD you have special gifts too. They may be subtle, but I’m sure they are there. Maybe it’s the ability to see things differently than most people do, or the ability to focus intensely on a project. Maybe you are a good storyteller, or have an artistic eye, or an ear for music. Whatever your gifts are, practice them. Whatever you love to do, make time to do it, even if it’s something that won’t become a career for you. If you continue to feel like harming yourself, call suicide prevention or get in touch with a therapist. Hang in there, it will get better I promise!