Many people with ADHD are rigid thinkers (especially those who are also on the autism spectrum). That means he can so only one way for something. He literally cannot imagine that someone could be so deeply hurt by words, to use an example in your situation. Then he reacts from that assumption. It can be very challenging to live with someone who has this sort of tunnel vision. It’s not narcissism, it’s simply only seeing one way.
Working on your communication with one another can help a great deal. There are some helpful insights and strategies in these articles:
Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism