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Roadrunner you need an ADD coach. I felt the same way five years ago and it has gotten so so much better since I got coaching. It did not cost a lot of money (5-6?sessions at $65/ea) and I now have a meal plan, almost always have clean clothes to wear and feel like I am getting more organized every year. I was even on time to more than half of my appointments last week ! If this is too much money for you, try googling Hannah help me. She has a program for moms that really really helped me as well and it was only $60 for a 30 day program. I think she has a lot of free resources too.
Crislea your son will do better with medication. 80% of people with ADD benefit from medication. My son who is six started taking it and his papers from school went from being 90% blank to 90% filled out in 48 hours. The medications are not dangerous unless you have a pre-existing heart condition. Stimulants are actually the most researched psycho tropic drug all. There have been medical studies on them for 70 years. They actually have neuroprotective effects on the brain. There are over 40 studies showing this. Google “neuroprotective affects of ADHD stimulants”. Popular media loves to publish horror stories of people dropping dead, overmedicating boys, etc. It is a myth that we are overmedicating children with ADHD. 5-8 Scent of the population has ADHD and only 3% is medicated.