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I know this is heartbreaking, but you really can help your gs. (He’s lucky to have you!)
My son has similar challenges, and we are just starting work services for him – on top of his meds, therapy, etc.- with DVR. Work services are largely free government services for people with disabilities – career counseling, job training, paid internships/jobs with 1:1 workplace support for job skills and mental health during training/transition, and many other related diagnostic and therapeutic services designed to get and keep a job.
Don’t let the government service part scare you off. It’s been amazing for us so far (at least here in King County, WA outside Seattle), and as you’re discovering the options are few.
Like your gs, my son’s anxiety is too debilitating. I’m not sure whether the core challenge is the calls or the anticipation of what follows – interview, interaction at work, fear of not understanding of failing at work. Of failing at life.
It’s probably all of above. He’s needed special supports to make it in school, so need for work support shouldn’t be surprising. (Though of course it is. We continue to hope he’ll grow out of it even though we know he wont!)
My son is a junior in high school, so we started the process in his IEP. As an adult, your gs can apply directly for services (with your help as needed) at your local Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. At least it’s DVR here in WA state.
You are an AMAZING grandma.
Good luck to you both!