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I don’t have ADHD. I’m a SAHM and I relate to everything you’re saying. Don’t buy into the preconceived notion of how things should be. “Should be” is a four letter word in our home and has to be used very carefully bc I never want to pressure my guys (or have them pressure themselves) or make them feel that shame of “I’m different therefore I’m wrong”. You can always try and remedy things that YOU want to change. But only do it as a means to either make things easier for you or to make your family happy and do it realistically. Don’t aim for Martha Stewart. As mothers we beat ourselves up for far more than we’re actually responsible for. I found myself apologizing to my 3 yr old bc the sun was in her eyes. I have zero control over the sun and when I’m driving I REALLY can’t do a whole lot. Her dad (who has ADHD) looked at me and said “what do you have to be sorry for??” And then told her to close her eyes. Lol I love his brain and how he helps me out. My point is sometimes we beat ourselves up for things that we just don’t need to beat ourselves up for. She wasn’t dying. The world didn’t end bc I didn’t do something right away. It was a profound moment for me.