My gut reaction? GET OUT NOW! Your situation does not sound good, I would hazard to say even abusive… BUT if you honestly believe that your relationship has a chance of being saved, I would suggest printing out some articles that relate to ADD relationship issues and leave them out for him to read. Maybe seeing that your guys’ issues aren’t all that uncommon will help him understand how to be more supportive.
I live with Inattentive Type ADHD and my boyfriend – who is ALWAYS on top of everything. Needless to say, he gets very frustrated with my “quirks” (losing everything, never on time, uncompleted projects, etc), but he is TRYING to be understanding and that makes me try harder to be better. His support is invaluable and a great motivator. His disdain (which I did receive initially) was the opposite and brought out my worst qualities.
Right now – “we” work because we both try. I’m not a PhD, but a lot of life experience has taught me: If your man isn’t willing to try, you shouldn’t be willing to stay. It’s detrimental to your health in every way, shape, and form. You DESERVE to be happy and healthy and your partner should support this.