This is such a heartbreaking story and I’m sorry you go through this. I don’t know all the aspects of your relationship and am unable to give you an informed advice 🙁 But it sounds like you need comfort and support yourself and you deserve to be loved and treated with respect. Maybe indeed it’s time to think other options. I am very grateful for my parents divorce as I felt they were never meant to be. Maybe your son will feel the same one day. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it is something you feel is right for you on a long term.