You’re not alone. I went through something very similar. I started feeling better when I stopped caring about what others think, and instead started working on my own problems one day at a time. we have ups and downs and days when we really need to vent because of the overwhelm we can experience.
You aren’t a nobody, you’re a human being who has TONNES of potential. You have so much time to get things on the right track. We all worry and think about the future so much, thinking “how can I have this, and this, when they all have x , y ,z which I want too”. It can feel like a dream, a wish which will never come true. But it can. It starts with harnessing all this energy into something you enjoy.
Take it one day at a time. And guess what, it’s ok to let your emotions out, even if it means crying every day. It’s a natural sign of us venting our frustrations and worries. I saw that someone else suggested it, and I know it can be annoying when people suggest it, and I’m referring to Exercise.
Exercise single-handedly saved my life. It improved my confidence, my health, my overall outlook on life. Once you establish a routine with exercise, I can PROMISE you things will slowly start getting better. Then you harness this new outlook onto something YOU want to do. It might not work for everyone, which is OK. It’s about going forward until you do. But I PROMISE you will find it, I promise. You just have to keep up the fight and never let your disability get the better of you.