Fedup I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I would recommend counseling for you, so you can talk frankly and at length with someone about your situation and perhaps learn what options you really have going forward. Does your son have services outside of school with an ARC type agency? Even if he doesn’t currently they might be able to help you explore options.
Don’t concern yourself with “helping” your husband. It should be all about you, how you can cope and plan for your future, regardless of whether you stay with your husband or you leave.
RPGW sweetheart, you are in an abusive relationship. Don’t kid yourself, my husband runs the money because its his jam. I don’t have to ask for money ever. Sure we have the odd stupid fight, but then one of us sees reason and it does vary who lets go.
Look for your local “Stop Domestic Violence” project and they will hook you up with counseling support and information. If you do couples counseling and he makes it all about you, STOP, full stop with couples counseling. Just get your own counseling and support. Two places to start
You don’t need to be ready to leave and you don’t have to be beaten to be abused and contact these folks. Financial abuse is domestic abuse!
I’m sorry this is happening to you.