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These hints have been great; sometimes just reading what others are going through can remind you to be kind to yourself. I once told my daughter that she will have to recover from her childhood like everyone else–there are times when ANY child (or husband, for that matter) do not get what they need at a particular time. Just because you are the mother/wife, doesn’t mean THEY are ENTITLED to live a life free of frustration and struggle. We try our best like every woman. ADHD is just one thing that makes it harder. But people who are bedridden, who are in a wheelchair, who are blind or missing limbs can manage households (God knows how, but they do!). We just have to find our groove. And apologize sincerely when we fall short.
2 constructive ideas for helping manage things:
1) Call a family meeting (and allow kids to be able to do this too). Ask for assistance where you need it and suggestions from them to resolve issues in a better way for the family as a whole (e.g.”What can we come up with to take care of the laundry better, because I am just not able to keep on top of it?”). When you work as a team to manage everything there is to be done, people are a lot more forgiving–you are not the only one responsible
2) One of the voice home management data systems(i.e. Siri, echo, Alexa, etc). My daughter is now 25 and got me Alexa for my birthday last year. It takes a little bit to set up and get used to, but it is a surprising tool. So useful! Anytime I need a timer for the laundry, I just say “Alexa, set a laundry timer for 45 minutes,” as I breeze by from one room to the next with basket in hand. These devices are great for setting reminders, telling you measurements (“how many tablespoons in a quarter-cup?”), and a whole host of other things. It is like having a personal assistant–she will even tell you a joke or give you a compliment if you ask her. Playing trivia games and 20 questions helps me get through boring tasks like dishes or mopping floors. Helps keep you in the moment and not beat yourself up about the next thing that you haven’t gotten done yet. The kids are even willing to pitch in when you make it fun.
Good luck and hang in there….empty nest is a real thing and it comes so fast! Enjoy as many moments as you can and treasure even the disasters that happen in every family. These are the stories you will repeat over and over and become family memories. And pay attention to the other comments to be kind to yourself. Society tries to push us to be a woman who can “do it all”. They forget to tell you that perfectionism in one area takes time away from other things. Think about priorities and let that guide you.