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Wow, so many of your statements hit home. Just remember, it’s ok to be you. Minds wander, everyone’s mind wanders. That is what minds do. Our minds seem to wander, squirrel, wander, squirrel, etc… Squirrel meaning that they move from one item to another without remembering the first thing.
Both my wife and I have ADHD. It’s a wonder that anything gets done around our house. We’re not filthy people, we’re not intentionally starting something planning on not finishing it. Your laundry statement made my wife send your post to me because I do that all the time. Put a load in and totally forget that I did. I’ve tried timers and alarms, still, nothing seems to work.
Since we were diagnosed a little over a year ago, we have started to laugh at ourselves for “squirreling.” It makes no sense to get upset about it because that is how our minds work. It’s made it much easier to understand each other too.
Our house becomes cluttered a day or so after we clean it. I have taken hours to clean one room just to have it cluttered up in a day or so. If there is a flat surface anywhere in our house, my wife will find it and put something on it. She doesn’t do it on purpose, it’s just how her brain works. So I try to cover our flat surfaces with things that contribute to organization. Things like file folders, small drawer or cabinet organizing items, etc. That may seem extreme but it works. The only problem with it is that there is a lot of “STUFF” in our house that other people put in drawers or cupboards. It is what it is for sure.