Some therapy could really be helpful to change your thought patterns into something more positive and conducive to creating success. CBT maybe?
The Truth About Treating ADHD with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
There are also alternative treatments for ADHD you can try:
https://www.additudemag.com/category/explore-adhd-treatments/natural-treatments/
Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism