You mentioned an anti-depressant, but no medication for your ADHD symptoms (focus/inattention being the primary one, it appears). I would recommend that you talk with your psychiatrist about your options at that upcoming appointment you mentioned. ADHD is not a matter of will power or desire to change; it is a matter of neurological chemistry. You cannot control this chemistry, so please don’t beat yourself up about the challenges you face and please don’t give up on your dream!
Here is our channel all about medication so you can get familiar with some of your options ahead of time: https://www.additudemag.com/category/explore-adhd-treatments/medications/