I am right alongside all of these comments! I have had a life of self-sabotage. From the spasms of organizing and filing papers down to the last shred “there now, I’m going to KEEP it organized” to meaning to do things, become disciplined and have ‘structure’ (one of my past doctor’s words.) I have been shouted at by bosses, been written up because I failed a subscriber, been confronted by my employers because I don’t show up to company events, on and on. I feel that I cannot even function as a human. Relationships have failed, unless I have been blatantly used by the individual: who’s going to part ways with someone with such low self-esteem?
I have been diagnosed as both ADD and Bipolar type 2. I am determined to be the person I know I can be, instead of the ‘very nice person’ going nowhere.