Many times ADHD and Autism are co diagnosed. You describe many of the behaviors my husband, who has been diagnosed with having high functioning Autism. My husband comes off as arrogant, nothing is ever his fault, he has temper tantrums, cannot communicate well and conversely has a hard time understand others. Does your husband give you reports? This involves one sided “Conversation” that typically revolves around his obsession. Does he have an all consuming interest (obsession) that he can hyper focus for hours at a time? Is he good with numbers or dates? Is he socially awkward and become exhausted after being around ppl too much? If he exhibits many of these attributes, you may want to have him see a professional to become evaluated. He will need support and so will you.