Reply To: Does anyone else self-sabotage?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Does anyone else self-sabotage? Reply To: Does anyone else self-sabotage?


This is my first post here. I am 51 was was sort of diagnosed only 3 months ago. I say sort of because it was during my daughter’s evaluation that I realized what I had suspected for years and the Psychiatrist said as much. She 100% has it, it is genetic and my husband definitely does not have it so…

To The_crud_on_your_shoe: What you said about perfectionism I could have written it. This is me 100%. I’m a terrible housekeeper because if I feel I don’t have enough time to do a chore perfectly I won’t start. It’s awful. I always feel like a lazy slob because of my house. I won’t let things get out of hand and will force myself to clean even if it isn’t perfect in the end but it takes awhile to get to that point. I also am the worst procrastinator. Over the years I’ve tried to deal with it but no amount of wanting to do things makes me do it. I’ve even purchased a few books on procrastination and procrastinated with reading them ( I think I got about half a chapter read in one book – ugh).

To feathersflight: Everything you said I can relate to. Every word.

I do feel shame and I feel guilty because I keep failing and also because one of my daughters has it and is so much like me. It’s scary. Her struggles are so much like mine but at least she knows as a teenager and we can get her help. Self-sabotage is something we both do. I know we don’t intentionally do it but it happens and then the shame comes because we made the choices that got us there.

I have done ok with my career but I know I could have advanced much more if I didn’t procrastinate so much. At my age advancing is limited now but still possible so I need to get help with finding ways to be more productive and staying on task. Does anyone have any resources to help with this?