I read your post and I am impressed, you are a smart girl! You made me realize somethings about myself that I also feel. The presumption of guilt, is that an ADHD thing? I also feel that and it makes me feel depressed.
I am a 49 year old woman with 4 children. I have been through a lot and have seen plenty. I remember being your age and looking back now, if I had listened to my parents, others, I would have saved myself a lot of headaches. I don’t know why I want to tell you this because only a few people know. This happened to me when I was 15 years old. I was in high school and like most kids wanted to be liked, fit in,….. These popular girls asked me to go out with them. I was so excited that they wanted me to hang out. They picked me up and we drove around. They wanted to go to this guys house, one of them was dating a guy that was there. I am thinking ok what could happen with a group of people. I will say that I was really shy and lacking social skills. There was a guy there that was highly liked and came from a good family. He seemed really nice and didn’t think anything bad of him. The girls I came with wanted to leave with guys and go pick up someone else. They said they were coming back. Long story short, I was raped, I said NO!!! He said he was sorry. I didn’t tell anyone. I blamed myself for years. I did something, lead him on, ………
I want to say this to you. You are a very intelligent girl and seem more mature than I was at your age. I don’t think that whoever is saying you guys are not allowed together in a room. That they don’t trust you or think that you are going to made a bad choice. It is more of a protect thing.
I have a niece she is 21 years old now and in the Navy. I can’t tell you how many times I heard stuff about her from my older boys. She had some girl and boy friends that she hung around. We were very close and we talked about everything. Some of her guy friends said things that weren’t true. Of course being in school the gossip gets around. I saw one of these friends at Wall-Mart one day, confronted him about what was said. He denied saying it, of course, but the damage was done.