Nurture her talents and interests. Give her an abundance of opportunities in those areas. She needs some successes and personal wins to start to build confidence again. She also needs true connection, so helping her find and build true friendships is important (just 1-2 is enough, it’s the quality of connection, not quantity).
I would approach diagnosis, treatment and school very collaboratively with her. “We see you struggling and we want to help you. We need for you to accept help, but we also want to honor that the assistance must be right for you. Can we make an agreement that you’ll try medication for a month? After a month, if you don’t see a benefit, we will come back together to determine next steps, but honor your input.” Something like that…
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism