As an adult that has lived with this disorder all my life it is something I do on a regular basis. I have a few IRL friends that accept it and deal with the long absences and when we start hanging out we really enjoy the friendship and joke about my MIA times. You must know working in mental health that she isn’t doing it intentionally and she feels at times that she has pushed you away. I often felt like I had ignored my friends so long that even if I recontacted them all the guilt I would feel from going silent so long would not be bearable on my part. I am actually in a similar situation with a friend that is so much younger than me I have felt like the friendship was silly and could not be real. The friend has continued to reach out to me and I text back but, always make excuses why we can’t hang out. This has gone on for over a year so if she is as special as you say then you already know the answer you are seeking from us.