Oh man, I LOVED waiting tables, but the long delay in my executive functioning made it nearly impossible to know if I needed to do something; just did it, or thought I did it based on a detailed memory created by worrying about what I needed to do. Ugh!
I’m still in the service industry – my ADD makes me an exceptional problem solver with a “can do” spirit – but I found my niche in membership services, where I was working within my own time-frame…playing to my strengths and minimizing my challenges.
As I re-read your post, I see you striving to be your best but lacking the medical support to meet your peak demands. You Need To Document how you feel/function throughout your day – and Show This To Your Doctor! As an adult, our day isn’t neatly packages within a typical school day – we have to meet demands in the evening, too. If you are working at night, you need an evening med that will allow you to function AND KEEP YOUR JOB. (Tell your doctor that! You must make a case for the need.) If you’re already taking an evening med, it needs to be increased or changed – because it’s not working.
If this feeling of the rubber not hitting the road is something you are feeling throughout the day – You may have Outgrown Your Meds! In my family, our bodies learn to process the enzyme (needed to clear Methylphenidate from our blood) quicker. Over time, the benefit of the medication diminishes until we are struggling again – Time For A New Med! When I changed to generic amphetamine, this stopped happening and I have been on the same dose for 20 years. Every person is different, which is why it’s important to communicate when you are no longer feeling supported. It’s tricky because it can come on so gradually that you don’t notice it at once but, if you’re not feeling “normal,” you need to find the right treatment that supports you correctly!
Don’t give up. I feel like you have the classic signs of being under-medicated, which is far worse that not being medicated at all, in my humble opinion. Find the support you need to flourish and shine! You deserve it!