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I am the mother of a 16 year old who sounds very much like you. Smart guy, doesn’t live to his potential, extremely variable performance, (I’ve already told him that if he moves in with a partner, to make sure he has his own “office” [i.e. shit-hole that he can close the door to])…In addition to medication (which he has been taking for a number of years), we’ve started having him meet with an ADD coach. This person is all about executive functions, not touchy-feely psychoanalysis (he would never abide). I’m hoping it will be the missing link.