Being “tougher” won’t change her brain. Her brain simply works different, and it’s lagging behind with many skills, like frustration tolerance, self-awareness, emotional regulation, etc. The path to improvement is to set clear expectations that also take into account that she’s 2-3 years behind in these skills, and to work on building these skills with understanding and compassion.
Remember, your child isn’t giving you a hard time, she’s HAVING a hard time.
I am a huge fan of Ross Greene’s CPS model and it’s the foundation of what I teach parents as well. I recommend you read his book, “Raising Human Beings.” Implementing his approach will change your lives and your family.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism